Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
