Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
