I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize