I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
