How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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