Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize