you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
