They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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