apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
