Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
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dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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