I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
