# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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