I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
