WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
