just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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