I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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