just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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