I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
