it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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