i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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