found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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