do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize