I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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