His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
