You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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