You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
