What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
