i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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