look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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