is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
