Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
