jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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