is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
