I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
