you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
