This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize