and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
