i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
