Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
