These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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