Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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