I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
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He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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