who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize