you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
