He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
