What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
