finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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