does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
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NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
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And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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