my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize