i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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