i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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