Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
