I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
