He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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