Who wears a wallet chain?!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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