I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
