My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
