Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
