Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
