i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
