You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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